CHICAGO, IL — Pioneering mapmaker Rand McNally announced Tuesday that it will officially discontinue production of its Ohio Traveler’s Guide, citing a total lack of consumer demand.
The decision comes after a sweeping internal market audit revealed that interest in navigating the Buckeye State has hit an all-time low. According to sales data, the company has not sold a single standalone Ohio map since a confused tourist from Indiana purchased one by mistake during the summer of 2014.
“As a corporation, we have to look closely at where our ink and paper are going,” said Rand McNally Chief Marketing Officer Linda Vance, standing in front of a massive press machine that was actively being recalibrated to print extra copies of the Michigan Upper Peninsula guide. “For decades, we’ve printed tens of thousands of Ohio maps out of pure geographical obligation. But the market has spoken. People simply do not require a 60-page, highly detailed booklet just to find the fastest way to get to Pennsylvania.”
Company analysts noted that while sales of other state guides have experienced a recent 20% resurgence among Gen Z and Millennial road-trippers seeking a “digital detox,” the Ohio guide remained utterly untouched. In fact, a focus group tracking younger travelers found that 98% of participants who looked at an Ohio roadmap used it exclusively to plot an escape route to a neighboring state.
To adapt to modern consumer behavior, Rand McNally will replace the dedicated Ohio section in its North American Road Atlas with a single, glossy page featuring a compass, a drawing of a generic cornfield, and bold text reading: “JUST KEEP DRIVING.”
Local truck stops along Interstate 75 have already begun clearing out their inventory to make room for beef jerky and air fresheners.
“Honestly, we won’t miss them,” said Earl Higgins, a gas station manager just outside of Toledo. “Most folks who buy the Ohio map only use it to fan themselves when their air conditioning breaks down. Nobody is actually looking for landmarks. You just follow the signs that say ‘Columbus’ until you see a sign that says ‘Kentucky,’ and then you thank your lucky stars.”
At press time, Rand McNally was reportedly considering a similar recall for its Delaware map, though engineers are still trying to determine if Delaware is a real physical landmass or just an administrative tax loophole.
