SPOKANE, WA — As he reluctantly began packing away his collection of deflated Halloween decorations Sunday morning, Greg Patterson was reportedly reminded of another disappointing performance the previous evening that had left his wife equally underwhelmed.
Patterson, 42, was seen dragging several limp inflatable ghosts, pumpkins, and skeletons toward his garage, occasionally pausing to stare at the decorations with an expression his wife described as “uncomfortably familiar.”
The cleanup came just hours after the couple returned from a Halloween party hosted by friends, where Patterson had apparently made several promises to his wife about how the evening would end.
“He spent the entire drive home talking a big game,” said wife Melissa. “Let’s just say the night didn’t exactly live up to the buildup.”
Patterson, who had spent the better part of October proudly displaying his six-foot inflatable Frankenstein and 12-foot haunted graveyard, reportedly struggled to get either himself or his decorations fully inflated Sunday morning.
“He kept saying the pump wasn’t working right,” Melissa added. “I don’t know how many more times I can hear that excuse.”
At press time, Patterson had managed to get most of the decorations into storage, although his inflatable black cat remained partially collapsed on the front lawn. He reportedly planned to give it another go after lunch.
