LOS ANGELES, CA – Following the recent passing of national treasure and country music icon Dolly Parton, the Hollywood Sign Trust has unveiled its official memorial: completely removing the two “O”s from the historic Mount Lee landmark and replacing them with a towering, illuminated bronze bust of the late singer’s chest.
The memorial project, budgeted at $140 million, features two massive, glowing geodesic domes meant to represent Parton’s famously voluptuous figure, doubling as high-powered searchlights meant to signal passing aircraft.
“When considering how best to honor the profound, lasting legacy of a late icon, the entertainment industry asked itself one central question: what part of her body was the biggest?” explained Lead Architectural Coordinator Chad Sterling during a press conference on Mount Lee. “We wanted a memorial that truly captured the sum total of her existence: two enormous, shining beacons visible across Los Angeles County.”
When asked by reporters whether honoring a deceased 10-time Grammy-winning songwriter, self-made billionaire, literacy advocate who gifted over 200 million books to children, and pioneer who funded crucial medical research by exclusively focusing on her breasts felt even slightly reductive or tone-deaf, Sterling appeared genuinely baffled.
“Reductive? Nonsense! We added 24-karat gold leafing to her wig,” Sterling insisted, pointing to renderings of the memorial. “Look, we all mourn her passing. She wrote ‘I Will Always Love You’ and ‘Jolene,’ broke barriers for women in business, and brought a divided nation together for seven decades. But let’s be real: no matter how much a woman accomplishes in her lifetime, Hollywood’s highest form of respect will always be reducing her to her bra size.”
Local cultural historian Dr. Aris Thorne called the memorial a masterclass in industry sexism.
“It is the ultimate proof that no matter how brilliant, charitable, or historically significant a woman is, Hollywood will ultimately boil her entire life down to her physical attributes,” Dr. Thorne noted. “Dolly Parton spent a lifetime outsmarting the industry with her razor-sharp wit and unmatched talent, yet her official posthumous tribute literally objectifies her on a hillside forever. It’s breathtakingly absurd.”
Despite public debate, construction crews are already breaking ground on Mount Lee, installing heavy-duty steel trusses to ensure the memorial stands as a permanent reminder that in Hollywood, a woman’s body will always overshadow her life’s work.
The newly memorialized “HOLLYW [DOLLY] D” sign is set to be officially lit next spring with a ceremonial unveiling and a synchronized fireworks display.
