Greetings *NSECTS!
I just came up with that nickname! It’s pretty good, right? I think it works because there are so many of you and some of you guys are really weird looking! What do you think? Not too bad, eh? Just one of the many things I’ve been doing in my spare time. Which brings me to my reason for writing this…
Not that I need the money, but can there really be any doubt of the massive stacks of cash *NSYNC would make if we were to reunite? Nostalgia over things from the ’90s is at an all-time high right now. A new album and world tour are sure to be successful… this I promise you!
With every day that passes, it’s just more cash that goes bye, bye, bye. I seriously drive myself crazy thinking of all the money we left on the table. Not that I need it, but if one simple phone call could lead to a windfall for everyone involved, wouldn’t you pick up the phone? I know I would.
And think of all the good that money could do! Justin could give a bunch to several PR firms to try and make him seem likable again. Joey could single-handedly crowdfund My Big Fat Greek Wedding 4, and I could put down an investment with some “friends” of mine to make sure my legs never get broken. It’s seriously tearin’ up my heart thinking of what we are missing out on!
Speaking of the guys, I also thought I’d give you an update on what each of us has been up to:
Justin released a few solo albums, but I don’t think his career has taken off quite like he hoped. I don’t really know. He isn’t taking my calls at the moment.
I’m told JC is focusing on production and management, which I think is just code for nothing.
Joey has transitioned nicely into the non-threatening celebrity who can be paired with just about anything. Hosting Food Network shows, self-deprecating cameos, you name it.
Lance is doing his thing in the Bravo TV community. Again, I don’t really know, but that just feels right, doesn’t it?
And as for me, I’ve been contemplating whether I should bring the dreads back. What do you guys think? It was a classic look that has in no way aged horribly!
One thing I haven’t done is fall victim to the rise of legalized sports betting by making eight-leg table tennis parlays after my wife has fallen asleep.
So here we go, *NSECTS! We’ve seen the power of social media before and it’s time to unleash it again. The time is right. The money will certainly be there. Again, not that I need it. And I just have this feeling, if anyone can get the ball rolling for a reunion… it’s gonna be me.
