MILWAUKEE, WI – The American Red Cross announced Monday that blood donated in Wisconsin has an average blood alcohol content of 0.17, raising new questions about the state’s longstanding commitment to both helping others and drinking heavily.
According to the Red Cross, Wisconsin donors had been behaving normally during blood drives for years, leading staff to assume they were sober.
“We honestly had no idea,” said Red Cross spokesperson Karen Mitchell. “They were answering all of our questions, following instructions and sitting completely still. Then again, this is Wisconsin. I’d be loaded all the time too if I’d spent 18 years pretending Aaron Rodgers’ press conferences were insightful.”
The discovery was made after a nurse noticed a donor attempting to give a second pint because, as he explained, “he wanted to see how much blood he could lose before he passed out.”
The Red Cross said the average donor arrives with a BAC of 0.12, but that level increases during the donation process as friends and family members waiting in the lobby encourage donors to “have one for the road.”
Wisconsin officials emphasized that the findings should not discourage residents from donating, noting that the state continues to have an ample supply of blood, beer and people willing to consume both.
“Wisconsinites have always been generous,” said Mitchell. “Sometimes excessively so.”
The Red Cross has since begun advising Wisconsin donors to avoid drinking for several hours before giving blood, a recommendation officials acknowledged may be difficult for some residents to interpret.
“Technically, we’re asking them to come in sober,” Mitchell said. “But we understand that’s probably not going to happen. At this point, we’ll take hair-of-the-dog or pregame levels.”
